What people of old-time Phoenix would think of modern-day Phoenix


As a time-traveler, I'm always thinking about people in old-time Phoenix. I think about what they did on an ordinary day, the foods they ate, their dogs, their horses, everything. I do try not to be judgmental, but I gotta admit every once in a while to wondering how they could take certain things for granted, like no air conditioning, and the dirt streets. And today I'd like to turn that around, and see what they might think of Phoenix in the 21st Century. I'll transport Ezra, one of my imaginary characters from old-time Phoenix, to downtown Phoenix today.

"Well, dang! I gotta stop drinking that rot-gut! Where am I? Let's see, the street sign says Central and Washington, and that sounds about right. It's where I decided to sit for a spell and collect my thoughts. I must have dozed off. Hope that Garfias didn't see me, he's already given me plenty of warnings.

Holy toledo! What was that monster that just went by? Do you suppose it could be one of them-thar horseless carriages? I've never seen one that big, and shiny! I need a drink.

Why is everyone staring at me? And what in tarnation are they wearing? Looky at that young woman over yonder, it's scandalous - I can see all of the way from her ankle to her knee! What would her mother say? Well, at least people are riding bicycles, I'll see if I can get one. What's this? 'pears to be locked! Well, I wouldn't ride a bright green bicycle, anyway!

This sure doesn't look like Phoenix, but it feels like Phoenix. With that sun pouring down its either Phoenix, or Hades. There! That looks like it might be a saloon, I'll go on in. Now what in the world? It's cool in here! How did that happen? Must be twenty degrees cooler inside this building than out there. Now I really need a drink! Barkeep! Whiskey! And leave the bottle. How much? What? No, all I have is a nickel. That should buy me a couple of drinks, right? No? What? Yeah, I'm leaving, no need to get your tail feathers in a spin!

I believe I'll just sit here for a spell. What's that officer? Homeless? No, I live behind the stables. Yes, I'll go there now. Maybe I'll see Clem, and he can explain all this craziness to me. Excuse me officer, can you tell me where the Golden Eagle is from here? Yes, I've been drinking. You wouldn't happen to have a bottle on you, would you?"

Image at the top of this post: Looking north at Central Avenue and Washington, Phoenix, Arizona.
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