The wonderfully optimistic world of people with conspiracy theories

In a long life spent mostly in Arizona and California, I've met a LOT of people who have conspiracy theories. And to me, they all have one thing in common: optimism. It's an optimistic view of the world that somehow, somewhere, out there, people are controlling things, especially the government.

As someone who has a fascination with history, I keep seeing the same thing over and over, which is that people are making this stuff up as they go along. Rulers come to power, stuff happens, and then it's springtime. Then someone else steps up, and it repeats.

I've examined so many conspiracy theories, and after doing some research, I usually find that most people are just bumbling along, and the people who grab for power are actually about as interesting to me as the kids I knew in high school who ran for student government. That is, dull, dull, dull.

And while I've never actually worked for the government, I spent about ten years as an adjunct faculty at my local community college. And while I loved the people I worked with, nothing about them made me think that they were some kind of masterminds. I'm certainly not. I came in, did the classes, went home and graded stuff. Sometimes I would think that it was something of a miracle when things actually did go right, and the computers worked. I tried not to think about it, but I know that there were some students who were very suspicious about the whole setup, thinking that all of the buildings and the people walking around there were just a carefully staged fake intended to simply generate revenue through parking tickets.

But please don't get me wrong, my heart goes out to those people, who are actually the most optimistic people I've ever known. When I was worried about being able to do a Photoshop class that day, if the server wasn't down again, they were walking up to me and poking me to see if I might be a hologram. What a wonderful thought that the technology would work that good! 

My conspiracy theory people come in all shapes and sizes. Some will grab me by the lapels and with glittering eyes start shouting "That's what they WANT you to believe!", while some others are more subtle, careful not to say too much as "they" may be watching them (who "they are is never explained, but "they" must be amazing!). And today as I was pondering this, I was wondering when I had that level of comfort, and belief, that someone is out there, taking care of everything, and it suddenly hit me: when I was a kid dozing off in the backseat of the car listening to my parents talk to each other.

And yes, my parents conspired against me, and were masterminds. They tracked my movements, and made sure that I washed behind my ears and did my homework. I remember resenting their having so much power over me, but looking back it seems kinda nice. It gives me a warm feeling, and I wonder if that's how people who have conspiracy theories feel? If so, it must be wonderful.

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