The changing meaning of the word "lady"


One of the most confusing things about being a time-traveler is understanding how the use of certain words change. I recently saw a young woman on TikTok who was patiently explaining to me that the word "lady" isn't something that people should be using nowadays. And now of course I'm thinking of how I understood that word in my sixty-four years of time-traveling here on planet Earth in Minneapolis, Los Angeles, and Phoenix.

By the way, since I pride myself on being a gentleman, I want to stop and say thank you to the nice people at Duke University who scanned this billboard. And my original understanding of the word "lady" is the equivalent of gentleman (which is still a good word - I like being called a gentleman, and when I see a group of young men I say stuff like "Howdy, gentlemen!").

Back when I first heard the punchline to "Who was that lady I saw you with?" being "that was no lady, that was my wife!" it was funny because it implied that the wife wasn't ladylike. And being ladylike was the female equivalent of being a gentleman, it was a sophisticated way of carrying yourself, the words you used, how you sat, and walked. And here is where it gets kinda tricky nowadays.

It's a very small step from "sophisticated" to "snooty", or what young people often say nowadays "entitled". But it's always been true - kids have always wanted to throw snowballs at top hats! And that type of resentment for someone who seems to be "putting on airs" is especially true nowadays, especially on social media where so many people just seem to come off as phonies.

I have a friend who will often use the word "gentleman" in a story, and I know what he means, some idiot. He will say something like "I saw this gentleman at the bus stop and he was... (something terrible). So gentleman, like lady, becomes a stand-in for what people really want to say (which isn't polite). And you can do the same thing with lady - "So, this lady got on the bus and... (something terrible).

I've always tried to keep up with the latest trends in modern thought, the same way that I like to keep up with technology. But I know that my grey hair protects me, and if I say "lady", young people will understand, and cut me some slack.

Well she's all you'd ever want,
She's the kind I'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.
Well she always knows her place.
She's got style, she's got grace, she's a winner.
She's a lady!




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